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Who Knows You?
"It's not about who you know", said John Ng, a jolly middle-aged man who was also the District Rotaract Chairman in Singapore, "but who knows you."
And I thought, what a mind-blowing statement that is!
A common saying in the world of entrepreneurs goes something like this: "how far you go doesn't depend on what you know, but on who you know." And I'm a big believer of this saying.
Having been in business for a while, I have learnt that sometimes the best way to get something done is to find the right person, with the right skills, or the right resources. Say I want to create a website, but know nothing about web designing; I'd be comforted to know that someone else who DOES is out there, and if I can get in favor with him, I can get one done for myself.
So it pays alot to invest some time and energy in moving around, getting to know people, and becoming friendly to them. Soon enough, I'll have myself a whole list of people with all sorts of resources and skills that are indirectly available to me through them. That's the power of networking.
That's Perfect!! In theory, at least.
When John turned the statement around, he underlined an important, but sometimes overlooked, point when people network: to create genuine bonds.
I can move around alot, and get to know hundreds, or maybe even thousands of people that my PDA get's jammed up with numbers. But these contacts don't really matter unless they are people who genuinely want to help you in a time of need; and people will only want to help you when they like you enough.
We call these people friends.
I recall going to an entrepreneur's networking session where everyone wanted to know everyone else. People walked up to me, said hi, shook hands (usually accompanied by a bone-breaking handshake), exchanged namecards and a few pleasantries, make a weak attempt at conversation, and finally excuse themselves so that they can repeat the same procedure on someone else. What do I get out of it? A weak conversation and a hand with a crushed bone. What do they get out of it? A thick stack of namecards.
But often these namecards gets misplaced and scattered around like waste paper the moment they get home: all those names they got were from people who weren't given the incentive to keep in touch. (In fact, I'd think they're names of people who might rather send you the hospital bills for their broken bones.) Try calling some of these names up, they'd probably only vaguely remember who you are. Try asking them if they could come down and help you move your furniture, they probably won't. Only friends whom we have genuinely made bonds with will - the people "who knows you".
So the next time you meet someone new, check yourself: are you interesting to get acquainted? Or are you just interested in acquainting with their namecards?
posted by Kelly Lim @ Friday, November 10, 2006
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