Just the other day, I was talking to Alvin, a good friend mine who is a Financial Planner with a major Insurance company, about how differently we approached people in our respective business. I, of course, was in Network Marketing, and so I shared my own experiences in approaching people.

He asked me: “Kelly, how do you talk to people about your network marketing opportunity?” I told him I’d make friends with people first; and when I think they’re ready for Network Marketing, I ask them if they would like to hear about my business proposition.

Alvin, on the other hand, makes appointments to talk mainly about his insurance policies and services, so he was surprised at my rather indirect approach.

I like my style of approach. Of course I am not condemning the direct approach of going straight to business; I’ve done it before myself, and it’s a great way not have to beat around the bush with it. You’ll sound more professional too. But here’s my two cents on why I tend to go “indirect”.

Rapport is King
And that’s so important in a business like mine. I want to get genuinely interested in the person I’m talking to. He’s got his own story, fears, and goals in life; and by hearing him out, I become friends with him, and the ice is broken. People tend to be less defensive with friends. If they enjoy your company as a result, so much the better.

Sometimes its a little bit harder to establish rapport when people already decided that they're going to say no. Imagine the following scenario -

Salesman: "Ma'am, my name is Bob and I'd like to talk to you about your insurance coverage today."

Lady: "I've got enough policies, thanks. I don't need anymore"

Salesman: "I'm sure you do, ma'am. But maybe if you could tell me more about yourself, I can probably help you better."

Lady: "Its alright."

Salesman: "Are you married?"

Lady: "Yes."

Salesman: "I see. Any kids?"

Lady: "Yup."

(nervous silence)

Salesman: "Um... so how's work?"

Lady: "Fine."

(another nervous silence)

At this point, I'm sure some insurance folks would like to give a different opinion about the above scenario. I'm sorry, I've never done insurance before, so it may not be that accurate. But it's only to illustrate my point.

You’ll understand if they truly need your services. Bald people don’t need hairsprays. So I don’t impose my wares and services onto them. It’s annoying. Imagine telling that bald guy “Hey, you know what, you really need my hairspray! You don’t know it yet, but trust me… what’s that? You have no hair? Nonsense, you’ve got a full head of it! I see it!” Irritating, huh?

It becomes Enjoyable
It’s enjoyable to really make new friends, rather than a new sparring partner. Approach someone with no ulterior motive, they’ll sense your sincerity and open their hearts to you. Ta-Da! A new friendship is formed! However, talk to them with a mind to make them part with (lots of) money, they’ll start building a wall of defense.

I’d much rather enjoy the process of my business rather than get nervous and edgy with it.

You know what’s the best thing about making friends first before business?
Even after they’ve rejected your business/service, they’ll still hang out with you!
That’s when you can continue to educate them about your business (in little bits and pieces) until they get a better picture.

Networking Guru John Milton Fogg sums it up the best:
“This is a shipping business - Friendshipping, Relationshipping, Partnershipping & Leadershipping”

Now thats mixing business with pleasure :)

(Inspired by my conversations with Alvin in the car. Thanks, I had fun! - Kelly)